Own Your Place
by cinbur
Summary: A/U: Season Three, episodes six and seven. This is my version of Jax and Tara confronting the Ima drama.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** _This has been in my head for a while and I need to get it out. I will continue with AFITR soon. This is my A/U of season three between episodes six and seven. I know many scenarios have been written on this subject. I wanted to explore, the Jax and Tara drama with Ima, in a new and familiar way. Please leave a review. Your reactions will influence the continuation of my story._

 **Disclaimer:** _All of this subject matter belongs to SOA and Sutter. FF writers own their original work. I used their ideas to build my story._

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **The Push**

* * *

The room is dark, the air is heavy, my heart is broken. I am unable to think clearly. Jax has finally pushed me away for good. He is done, done with me, done with love, done with us. It doesn't matter what I want, or what I need. I wonder if Jax is right, Abel could be dead, but, in my heart, I feel he is alive. None of that matters anymore. I will leave, he doesn't want me anymore. I never thought our love would die. Before Abel was taken, our bond of love felt stronger everyday. I thought we were happy, happy family, happy in love. I trusted Jax with my heart. Gemma always said this would never work. Damn, I hate the idea that she is right. Jax is broken and he is not the same. Now is the time for me to own my place and be responsible. It is now five in the morning, but I have to find Jax before I leave forever.

Tara arrives at TM with all of her bags packed. She is not clear as to where she is going; she is still leaving today. Tara walks into the clubhouse looking for Jax. He is not in the bar room. She figures he is probably still asleep in his dorm room. As Tara walks back to find Jax, Opie steps out of his room. "Tara what are you doing here so early in the morning?" "I need to find Jax." "Tara, he is not here. I don't know where he is." Tara senses Opie is trying to hide something from her. She knows Jax is here, because his bike is parked outside. Tara walks boldly to Jax's room feeling like she will find out why Opie is so guarded. The door is not locked as she opens it quietly. Jax is wide awake, in bed, smoking a cigarette, he is startled as she walks into his room. The smell of cheap perfume, sex, and booze hangs in the air. The smell makes her nauseous. She is running to his bathroom, but she stops at the bathroom door. Ima is blocking her entrance. Tara has no choice, she vomits in Ima's face. Thankfully, the whore moved so Tara could finish being sick in the bathroom. She sat there frozen and stunned. How the hell is she going to handle this now. After thirty minutes she hears, "Tara, Tara, you okay?" Oh, now, this is perfect, I should just vomit in his face too. Jax actually has the nerve to open the bathroom door, standing in his sweats. I brush past him.

I turn and stare directly into Jax's eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your thing with Ima." I need to leave quickly. But, I decide to sit down and swallow my pride. Jax actually looks disappointed; I bet he expected me to run. "I came here for a specific reason and right now my reason has changed." "What the hell, Tara, I am done, remember." "Yeah, Jax, I remember, I remember everything. I can assure you I am done too. Thank you for making my departure easier." Jax has the strangest look on his face. I wanted to laugh, except it is all so pathetic. "I need to tell you how devastated I am for not protecting Abel with my life. He is my first son and I will always love him. My second son will never suffer this life. Goodbye, Jackson." Standing up to leave, my legs go weak and I fall back into the chair. Damn, I need this torture to end.

"Your second son? What does that mean?" "Well, Jax, I guess being with Ima allows her brain cells to diminish your brain too. Look, Jax, I am really sorry I came here. Obviously, you never really loved me. I served you well while Abel was with us. You needed me to care for Abel. But, now that Abel is gone you don't need to pretend any more. I actually thought you did love me. That is my mistake. At least I will be leaving with the one thing I will always love." Jax pulls a chair up in front of me and sits down as he is running his fingers through his hair. I need to escape; I am done talking. Unfortunately, Jax is blocking my exit. "Tara, I do want you to leave. I left my dorm room door open hoping you would find me with Ima." I am astounded with his brutal honesty. This not the Jax I ever loved. I don't know who this man is. Suddenly, I am filled with a new strength of resolve in myself. Finally, any love I feel for this shallow character of a man is changing. I am so much better off without him, the pain of his betrayal is turning into feelings of relief.

"Congratulations, Jax. You now have everything you wanted. I am leaving." "No, Tara, please wait I don't want you to leave without knowing the truth." This is crazy. Why do I let him talk. Shit, I am getting sick again. I motion to Jax that I need to get to the bathroom quickly. Thankfully, I make it to the bathroom just in time to vomit my guts out. This exit is not going well. Jax has the nerve to walk into the bathroom and hands me a wet wash cloth as if he gives a shit about me. Being pregnant is not helping me to escape. Physically, I feel weak and woozy. Jax helps me out like I am some kind of wounded animal and lays me down on his bed of sex and shit with Ima.

"Jax, let me get out of here now, please." "I can't Tara. I can't live with myself until I tell you the truth. I do love you Tara." "No, no, no you are a lying coward and I am done with your lies and duplicity." Jax, ignoring Tara's comment, continues,"Ever since Abel was taken, I have been trying to push you out of my life. Every night I have the same nightmare; I see you dead on the floor instead of Half Sack. Blood is everywhere. I wake up shaking as a cold sweat pours out of me. I can't let my life kill you, Tara. They took my son. Tara, they took our son…how could I let you live with me knowing the danger and violence of this life. If he is killed and you…I have failed to protect him. But, I must not fail to protect you. It doesn't matter how much I love you if you are dead. I want you out of my life because I am afraid. I never told you because I am paralyzed by my fear. I can't let my desperate love for you prevent you from leaving me. I want you to hate me. I want you to think I am a lying cheating bastard. I fucked Ima and I hated it and I hate myself. I love you so much." Jax can't speak, his words have turned into tears, and sobs.

My first reaction is to try to comfort him, instead I walk away from him. There are so many things that could be said; now is not the time for words.

I am only certain of one thing,"Look at me, Jax; go find our son."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** _Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and support of my story. I am thrilled you all seem to enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it for you. I am anxious for your reviews on this chapter._

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 **Finding Balance**

I am finally in my car traveling to work. I have been trying to leave this place for the past two hours. I actually felt trapped by my own body; how weird is that. I can't remember ever wanting to be away from Jax so desperately. I wonder if my body forced me to endure the agony of confronting Jax, for my own good. Is it possible for my physical self to think for me? Now, I know I have really lost my mind. Although, I do feel more certain of what I need, and want, for my life. I guess that is a step in the right direction. I am glad Jax gave me a burner cell phone for us to use while he is in Belfast. Our phone calls will be untraceable. And I will know when he does finally find Abel. What Jax doesn't know can wait until Abel is safe in his arms. At least he knows I am pregnant. I never would have known about Ima if I kept our baby a secret. Perhaps my little bump is the force motivating me to be responsible...motivating me to do what is best for us. I know the path I am choosing is hard. But, I also know it is the only path I want. The hardest part for me is knowing I have to give up Abel. I never could, or want to separate Jax from Abel. I will always love Abel and I know I will see him often. I am feeling excited, for the first time in months, to begin my new life.

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Tara is now living in Merced, a little town, sixty miles from Charming. Merced is located away from the main highways. County and back roads are the only access to the town. Margret Murphy secured a job for Tara, at the clinic affiliated with St. Thomas. Margaret is from this area and she helped Tara find the perfect home, for now. Tara's feelings for Margaret as a cherished friend have grown. Margaret has become more like the mother Tara never had and always wanted. The clinic is perfect for Tara too. Stable hours with a good salary, work well, for a pregnant doctor. Unfortunately, everyone around her wants to know where the baby's father is. She has to tell them something, but she is still trying to figure it out for herself.

At first, Tara thought all the questions about the baby's daddy were just folks being nosy and gossipy, until one of her colleagues met with her for lunch. He explained how thrilled and surprised everyone feels about her work. They all know she is the finest doctor they have ever seen. Clearly, Tara's exceptional talents as a doctor would be in high demand anywhere.

People ask about the father out of concern and nothing more. He also assured Tara that this is a good town with fine people who care about each other. They also respect each others' privacy.

Everyone around her is supportive, kind, and generous. She has received so many welcome to Merced gifts...she never knew people did that. She has hired a house-keeper and a grounds keeper. They are a husband and wife team who work for one hundred dollars a week. Nan and Jeb are the best workers in town. Since Tara is the only female doctor, she merits special attention. That is why Nan and Jeb were asked to help her out, and why they readily agreed. Dr. Tara Grace is the name Margaret suggested for her to use. Knowles was still her legal name. Margaret felt Dr. Tara Grace helps to protect her identity and Tara agreed. The clinic has two other doctors. Each of them is a family man with a loving wife and tons of children. Tara has found a new balance in her life that feels safe, secure, and reliable.

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Three Weeks Later

Jax calls Tara with exciting news. "Tara, babe, I have Abel in my arms." Thank God, Jax. Is he okay? Did a doctor check him?" "Yes, of course babe. Our son is perfect. I will call you as soon as we get home."

I am really happy Abel is okay. I am also a little disappointed. I thought Jax might ask how we were...me and my bump. It's all good. This helps me to know I have made the right choice.

The SONS with Gemma arrive at TM. Everyone left behind welcomes them back home joyously. The prospects even built a play area with a swing set for Abel. Jax thanks them all. His brothers are always there to support each other. Gemma takes Abel into the clubhouse. Lyla and Opie are playing with Abel while Gemma checks on Jax. "Jackson, what's going on with you?" Jax looks at his mom strangely."Nothing mom. Why?" "I don't know Jax, you just seem to be distracted." "It's all good, mom. I gotta go."

I know everything is not all good with me and Tara. I have a horrible feeling I will be facing some very hard conversations soon. I just know I have to fix us before we go to jail.

Shit, what the hell is Wendy doing here and where the hell is Tara? "Hi, Jax, did you have a good trip back?" Jax has no time for this Wendy bullshit. "What the hell are you doing here Wendy?" Wendy is shocked that he would question her with such disregard. "I came to see Abel, of course. Remember, he is my son." Now, Jax is ready to explode. "Since when are you so interested in seeing Abel? As I recall, you gave up all of your parental rights after you almost killed him." "I know, Jax. But I have completed the drug rehab program. I have been sober for six months. My drug problem is behind me now. I just want to get to know my son." This can't be happening to me now. I have no idea or patience for how to handle this mind-fuck with Wendy. "Jax, I thought you would be thrilled to see me." This just keeps going from bad to worse with this junky from hell. "Wendy, why in the hell would you think I would be happy to see you?" Wendy looks at Jax as if he is clueless. Wendy thinks, Jax may be clueless. "Jax, don't you know that Tara called me?" "What, what the hell are you talking about Wendy?" "Tara called and told me that I may want to be available for Abel, just in case you need me." "When did she call you?" "I'm not sure, Jax. I know it was a few weeks ago. She did say she had just moved out of Charming."

I feel like I have just been shot in the chest. Before I call Tara again I think I better check in with my brothers who promised to watch and protect Tara.

As I walk into the clubhouse, I see Tig and Piney talking quietly to each other. "Excuse me...would you two knuckleheads care to explain what the fuck happened to Tara?" Both Piney and Tig look like I just shot them in the head, which is exactly what I feel like doing. "Jax, Tara is fine. We saved her from being kidnapped." "Tig what the fuck are you talking about?" Tig continues, "About a week after you all left to find Abel. David Hale told us that Salazar was looking for Jax Teller's old lady. Piney and I knew he was out for retaliation and he would hurt Tara. We actually worked with David to keep eyes on Tara. One day, Tara left , with that lady...you know her boss." Piney interrupts snidely, "Be quiet Tig let me tell it. Jax, Tara was in Margaret Murphy's car when Salazar bumped the car from behind and drew a gun on Tara and Margaret. Salazar's old lady had a gun on them too. Hale gave us a quick heads up. Salazar and his old lady have been convicted of attempted kidnapping. Tara was safe and so was Margaret. The next day, Tara met me here at TM. She was a wreck, Jax. I have never seen her so frightened. Even, when she was a kid and I saved her from being beaten by her damn father, she never showed that kind of fear." Jax knows exactly why she was so afraid the baby. "Any ways Jax, Tara told me she was leaving Charming. I understood she had to do that. But, I made her promise to call me everyday so I could know she was safe. And, Jax, she kept her word and calls me daily." Thanks, Piney, "Do you know where she is?" Piney looks at me and sighs. "She calls us on one of those damn burners...Juice can't trace her calls." Jax can't help but chuckle to himself, knowing he gave her the phone.

Jax thinks, I have to get out of TM and away from everything to figure out my next move. One thing he knows for sure; he will be back in Tara's arms by the end of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** _Thank you all for your reviews. All of your positive feedback keeps me motivated to write more. I hope you all let me know your reaction to this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it. This chapter has been revised thanks to the wisdom of elbeewoods._

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Now What?**

Today is the day Jax will realize our relationship is over. I know our conversations will be brutal for me. The hardest thing for me to accept is the loss of family. I almost had it all with Abel and even Jax. At least I had a family for a short time. My little bump, that I love so much, is giving me the permanent family that I have always wanted. I will always honor Jax's rights as the father of our baby. I hope Jax will want to be my friend because that way Abel can be a big brother. I am so excited because Abel is home, safe and sound. I can only hope Wendy will be a good mother for Abel. I wish I could see Abel before Jax goes to jail. There is no way that Jax would bring Abel to visit me here. As I am walking through the house I hear my burner cell phone. I know it's Jax. I'm just not ready to talk to him yet. Five minutes later, the phone rings again. If nothing else, I know he is persistent. Two minutes later it rings again. "Hi Jax"

"Finally, where the hell have you been, Tara? I thought you would be here at TM when we got home."

And now it begins,"Well, Jax, I thought you were going to call me when you arrived. Right now I am at home. I actually got off early today."

I can already sense something is different in Tara's voice. "I thought you would be anxious to see Abel."

I know exactly how Jax thinks this will play out. "Of course I would love to see Abel. I was just waiting to hear from you."

I am really feeling uncomfortable now. I know my Tara, and I can feel her ambivalence toward me. "Tara, I would like to meet you at our home in Charming as soon as possible. I have church later. I am going to jail in a few days and I don't have a lot of time."

I have to be very clear and strong as I tell Jax, "I am sorry Jax. The only way I can see Abel or meet with you is to have you come to my home. I am more than willing to make you and Able supper. I live in Merced which is about sixty miles away from Charming."

Shit, I can't believe Tara is doing this to me. "I just don't have the time to drive to Merced, Tara. I just don't understand why you can't come to meet us in Charming."

Now, I am pissed, "I really don't care if you understand me at all Jax. I am really trying to be accommodating here. I don't care if you can't find the time."

"I am surprised you even found the time to call me."

"Goodbye, Jax."

"No, no, no don't hang up, Tara."

"Okay, Jax…now what?"

 _I almost blew it completely with Tara. I have to see her. I have to make us whole as a family. I have to do this for Abel and my unborn child. The problem is Tara may not want me anymore._

"Please give me your address, and I will be there as soon as I can."

 _I will give Jax a chance to be fair_.

"Here is my address and I trust you to keep it to yourself."

"Babe, I promise to keep it our secret. I will be there. I love you, Tara."

Clay will be pissed...tough, I have no choice.

* * *

I wonder if Jax will actually come here? I bet some kind of emergency will come up. Laying my hands on my stomach, well little bump, I think we will just pretend your daddy is coming and make something delicious for supper.

* * *

Two hours later, Jax has Abel packed and ready to go see his momma. "Momma," that's right, little man, your momma." Getting Abel out of the arms of my mother was ridiculous. It was a vivid reminder of how unreasonable Gemma can be. I packed up all of Abel's things from Gemma's and TM. I just hope my plan works. It has to work for me and Abel. Tara could never deny Abel.

Jax and Abel are finally on the road.

* * *

I am fascinated by the beauty of the back country roads leading to Merced. I can't help thinking how perfectly suited this land and scenery is for my Tara. It reminds me of our special place when we were young and in love. The thrill of Tara riding with me on my new Harley when I turned sixteen; I remember it like it was yesterday. There was a huge tree at our special place and I recall carving a heart on the tree. I remember writing JNT=TGKT. I knew then that she owned my heart. She has always owned my heart.

I think way down deep I still harbor anger because she left me to go to school. She left me to accomplish her dream. She left me and became a doctor.

Abel is alive today because of Tara. She saved Abel with her healing hands.

She came back to me. Oh God, what have I done.

I forgot Tara. I forgot her trauma when Abel was ripped out of her arms by a madman, let alone by a man she saved weeks before. I forgot that Tara watched Half Sack being killed in front of her eyes. I was blinded by my own pain and selfishness.

I forgot Tara.

Tara never forgot me. When she left me for school she begged me to go with her. Tara never wanted to leave me. She wanted me to become something better than the club. She always said I was the smartest person she knew. I was the one who made the choice. It was Tara or the club. I chose the club.

It is all so clear to me now.

This club now has me going to jail. This club almost killed my son. This club made Salazar almost kill Tara. This club did kill Donna. This club is why my own mother was gang rapped by a bunch of nazi pigs.

I am so ashamed of what I have done. I am ashamed of what this club has become. My father didn't want this for me. How could he? That was the message he was trying to write in his manuscript of vague thoughts for values forgotten. I recall my dad's note on the second page of his book:

 _ **For my sons, Thomas, who is already at peace. And Jackson, may he never know this life of chaos.**_

How could I have been so blind. I wanted the thrill of the outlaw life. I liked the power of making money by selling guns. The danger and violence made me fearless and reckless...and stupid too.

But, I also love my brothers. The question is do I love them more than Abel, Tara, and my unborn child. The answer is simple I want them both. I want my family and my club.

Damn, it ain't going to happen. It is time for me as a man to start owning my place. I realize that is exactly what Tara is doing. She will never return to Charming. Charming has put her and my children in harms way. My life has put my family in danger.

My behavior towards Tara is reprehensible, let alone cruel and disgusting. She deserves better. She deserves to be treated with respect, understanding, and tender loving care. I am afraid that I have probably killed her intense love for me. Actually, I bet that is exactly what I have done. The only thing I know for certain is I am the father of her unborn child. That bond she would honor between us. But she won't trust me to be faithful...how could she? Finding me with Ima...she knew my reasoning was bullshit.

Perhaps it is time to accept who I really am. But I am so confused and conflicted. Who am I really?

I have just arrived at Tara's home. Here goes nothing...

* * *

Well, my little bump, it looks like your daddy and big brother have come to visit. When I open the door I am greeted with a bright smile shining on Abel's face as he tries to push himself out of Jax's arms into mine. I hug him tight and try to hide my tears.

Abel is giggling sounds of joy saying, "momma."

Shit this is so much more unbearable than I ever imagined. I almost forgot Abel had just started calling me momma before he was taken...he didn't forget me.

I look up at Jax. Is he crying? His hands are shaking as he tries to wipe away his tears. "Sit down, Jax." We just sit and stare at each other, knowing we have no idea of what to say or how to say it. Our tears say more than words can convey. I start to tickle Abel and the ring of his laughter helps to ease the tension in the air.

"I made spaghetti. Are you hungry, Jax?"

"Yes, of course. You always made the best spaghetti."

"I have a highchair for Abel too."

After dinner, Jax helps to clear the table and clean the kitchen. "Tara do you have a place where I can change Abel and lay him down?"

"Of course, let me take care of Abel. You look like you could use a drink and relax on the couch. Help yourself Jax. Beer is in the fridge and Jameson is in the cupboard."

I have never felt this awkward or nervous around Tara before. I really do need a shot of Jameson. I know Tara needs one too but she is pregnant, and drinking is not an option.

Looking around Jax sees Tara's home is warm and inviting. I wonder when she had time to draw all of these paintings hanging on her walls? As Tara walks back into the living room, her beauty still takes my breath away.

"Jax, what's going on?"

That's my girl straight and direct with no bullshit. "Tara I wish I could answer you. But right now I have no idea of what's going on in my life. What I do know is I hurt you, and treated you badly. I know the only reason you are allowing me to visit is so you can see Abel and check him out to make sure he is unharmed."

"Jax, don't be so hard on yourself. What happened between us belongs to me too. I know the kind of life you lead. I allowed myself to get caught up in our love for a while, until it all blew up in our faces. For now, I hope we can just be friends and leave all the bitterness behind us."

"Seriously, Tara you would still be willing to be my friend?"

Tara responds in kind."Give me a break, Jax. We have always been friends. At least as friends we don't have to worry about getting hurt or breaking any deals."

"Yeah, like the deal breaker I did with the despicable porn slut. I know you will never forgive me for that betrayal. I also know I have broken any trust you ever had for me. I just need to tell you how ashamed and mortified I am for disrespecting and hurting you like I did. My actions are unforgivable and I will live with the regret of hurting you for the rest of my life. The consequences of my behavior ever since Abel was taken are brutal. I forgot you, Tara. I was so blinded by my own pain and fear, I forgot about your pain and fear. You were the victim of a madman out for revenge. You were also terrorized by the man who loves you more than life itself. I know I killed your love for me. I know I killed everything good in my life when I did that to you. I am a tortured soul Tara, and I don't know how to live my life anymore."

"I wish I could help you Jax. But, I can't. I am as tortured as you are."

"I know, babe. We make quite a pair. Tara I am going to jail in two days. I can't leave Abel in Charming. I don't want Abel with anyone else but you."

"But, Jax, what happens to Abel when you get out?"

"I am not sure. But, I know he will not be taken from you."

"Are you asking me to adopt Abel?"

"Absolutely, is that okay with you?"

"What about Wendy?"

"Tara, remember Wendy signed all of her parental rights away from Abel. The authorities were ready to charge her with endangerment of a fetus unless she signed her rights away. Wendy has no legal standing in Abel's life."

Tears pour from Tara's eyes, she never thought Jax would give her Abel. Jax and Tara embrace and hold onto each other tightly. "Tara we have a lot to figure out. But, for now I want Abel to stay here. I have all of his stuff in the truck. I will contact Lowen for the adoption papers. No one knows where you are and I want to keep it that way. I don't want Gemma to know either. Daily phone calls to Piney are no longer necessary. And, Tara no more calls to Wendy!"

"Okay Jax." Before Jax leaves, he kisses Tara passionately. She feels like a freight train has rolled over her.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: _I want to thank you all for your reviews. Your support is incredible and fills my heart with joy. Special appreciation to elbeewoods for always pushing for more._

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 **Chapter 4**

 **Possible**

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The sunset has never looked so beautiful in the sky as Jax leaves Tara's home. Jax realizes he is leaving his family behind. He does find comfort knowing anything is possible because Tara and Abel are reunited. If only he didn't have to leave. He feels so torn and angry; angry for having to go to jail, torn because he wants to stay with his family. Driving in his truck, Jax has just reached the end of Tara's street when his burner rings. Answering the phone he hears, "Jax," "Yeah, Tara, I'm here." "Jax, I have a lot to tell you. I wish I could talk to you in person but the phone will have to suffice." That's all Jax needs to hear to quickly turn back to Tara's home. While on route, Jax asks, "What do you want to tell me Tara?" "I have to begin by thanking you for giving me Abel. I never thought you would let me be with Abel outside of Charming. I am so sorry Jax...wait there is someone at my door." "I'll just wait, go answer the door, babe."

As I open my front door, Jax is standing there holding his cell phone to his ear. I am so surprised. "I thought you had to get back to Charming." Smiling his perfect smirk, "You did say you wanted to speak to me in person, right Tara?" With tears in my eyes, all I can say, "Oh, Jax." Tara hugs him tightly. "Come in Jax and sit down with me." Tara leads Jax to the couch, holding his hand. He can tell she is nervous. "Jax, I realized after everything you said tonight that it is important for me to tell you how I have felt, and how I feel now."

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"Before I begin, you need to know that pregnancy hormones are a bitch to control." "I get that babe, making you feel super sensitive and emotional." I can't help but smile now, Jax is being sweet and understanding. "Yes, Jax, but sometimes these hormones make me feel crazy and out of control." "It's okay, babe."

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"Do you remember the day you broke up with me?"

Jax, thinking to himself, if she only knew that was the hardest thing I have ever done. The pain of saying goodbye to the only woman I have ever loved is a memory I will never forget.

Jax responds, "Tara, of course I remember, but why does that matter now?" "It matters because, after you said that you were done with me I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't sleep that night. I felt like you were forcing yourself to end our relationship for my own good." Jax has to say, "It was for your own good at that time." Tara nods in agreement, but she still needs to explain, "We've loved each other for so long. After being gone from you for over ten years, our love still survived. I just couldn't believe we were really done. I guess you could accuse me of being delusional. I do blame my hormones for that craziness."

"It was five am and I just had to see you before you left for Ireland. I knew you were distraught and frightened about Abel. I wanted to support your efforts in finding Abel. I wanted to be strong and let you know how much I loved you and Abel. I didn't know if I would tell you I was pregnant."

"When I walked in on you and Ima, I felt like a fool. How stupid was I to think you still cared?" Jax interrupts, "No babe, you don't have to relive that horrible time." "Yes, Jax, I do, please let me finish." Jax says, "I will let you finish. But I have to say the look of shock on Ima, after you literally spit in her face, was priceless." Tara laughs as she says, "I felt like she deserved it. After I finally made it to the bathroom and finished being sick. I felt ashamed and I just wanted to disappear." "Babe, please stop torturing yourself it's over, I only love you." "No, Jax, I need you to understand why I brushed past you when you were checking on me in the bathroom." Jax remembers, "Yeah, you were in there for thirty minutes. I called out to you, but, when I got no response, I was worried." "I know Jax. As soon as you opened the bathroom door I started running out of there. But I stopped half way through the room. I decided it was time to stop running and be responsible for the sake of my child. I told you I was pregnant out of anger for not loving us. My point is, Jax, I really believed, at the time, you hated me. You had been so cold and mean towards me for weeks. You even told me I was not your family. You didn't break the deal breaker Jax. We were not together when you fucked Ima. I felt like you probably broke up with me to be with Ima. My insecurities were ripped open." "Tara, no babe, Ima was just a disposable receptacle for me to use." Tara nods her head in agreement. "I never stopped loving you Jax. The power of my love for you is a never ending feeling of happiness, joy, regret, and sadness." Jax's heart is filled with love. His mind is filled with relief. "Come to me, babe. Let me prove my never ending love for you."

After two hours of the most thrilling sex imaginable, Jax and Tara fall asleep in each other's arms. Two hours later, Abel is awake and crying. Jax says, "There's our little man, the master of perfect timing." Tara jumps out of bed to care for Abel. She can hardly wait to hold him in her arms. When Abel sees Tara, his face lights up and he reaches out to her. "Momma, he says." Tara's tears of joy are flowing as she picks him up and he snuggles into her arms. Jax is fascinated watching his son respond to Tara's care. She is Abel's mother. Jax realizes, sadly, he has to leave soon. "Babe, I have to get back to Charming." "I know baby, I just wish we had more time." Embracing Tara with Abel in her arms, Jax feels like his whole world is finally coming back together. He has his family and wants to stay here forever. Jax knows, "I do have several important issues to discuss before I leave." "Okay, Jax, you want to talk now?" Jax, feeling confident, says, "Now is our only choice, babe." "Okay, let me get Abel's bottle first."

Once Tara starts to feed Abel, Jax continues. "Tara, I want you to promise to call Opie or Chibs if you need help." "Jax, are you worried about our safety?" "I am only worried because I can't be here to protect you." Tara knows he is always her protector. "I promise to be careful. Jax, can we come to visit you in jail?" Jax thinks that is his biggest worry. "Tara, I don't want any of the club's enemies to know who you are or where you live. I will call you whenever I can. I expect daily letters, without return addresses and lots of pictures. I just don't want to risk your safety by your visiting me in jail." Tara knows he is right, it's just so hard to accept. "I will miss you so much Jax. Just don't forget us or how much we love you." Jax stares directly into her eyes, "I can assure you I will never forget how much I love you and Abel. You will always Own Your Place in my heart and soul."

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Watching Tara feed our son, Jax can't help thinking that Abel's bond to Tara is as strong as his own...once Tara grabs your heart...you never want to let her go. I thought I lost her and my life was dark. Now that she is mine again, my life is bright with a promise of a better future. My resolve is strengthened. I will survive in jail. I will marry Tara. I just hope I can leave SAMCRO behind me.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Letters**

The ride back to Charming gives Jax time to reflect upon everything that has happened today. He is amazed as to how wonderful his life is now that Tara and Abel are both back in his life safe and sound. Tara loves him. Tara still loves him after all the shit she has had to suffer because she loves him. Having Tara back in his arms declaring her love for him makes leaving Tara and Abel sad. But it would have been so much more painful if Tara didn't let him back into her heart.

All of his plans are falling into place. He had talked to Margaret Murphy before he left Charming to go to Merced. Margaret assured him that no one at the hospital knew where Tara had gone. He was also thrilled that Nan and Jeb Teller would be watching out for Tara.

Nan and Jeb were distant cousins to Jax's father. Gemma never knew about them. Jax remembers his father introducing Nan and Jeb to Jax a few months after Tommy had died. They had lunch together in Merced. Jeb had been in the reserves. He didn't have to go to Vietnam. Nan made it clear that they didn't like the outlaw life that JT had created. They were both really sad about Tommy. That was when Nan and Jeb made a secret pact that if Jax ever needed help outside of Charming they would be there for him. At the time, Jax didn't appreciate how important that would be for him. His dad made it clear that no one is allowed to know about Nan and Jeb. Jax did talk to them after his dad died. Jax was riding to clear his head of all the pain and grief he felt. Jax ended up riding to Merced. He called them with the phone number that was given to him three years prior. They were thrilled to hear from Jax and shocked that JT had died. Jax spent the rest of that day at their home. Jax felt like he had a hidden treasure with Nan and Jeb, left to him by his father. Now that Tara and Abel are both in Merced, Jax can rest easy knowing Jeb and Nan are watching over his family.

Tara will be so surprised in the morning to see Nan at her door step to take care of Abel. Nan will also give Tara the adoption papers to sign and Jeb will send them back to Lowen by special delivery. Tara will have a lot of questions but Jax knows Nan and Jeb will keep him out of it. Margaret made a deal with Jax to be his contact for everything he wanted for his family. Margaret suggested that while Jax is in prison all of his letters will be addressed to Margaret's home and she will get them to Tara. Jax is doing everything he can think of to keep Tara and Abel hidden and out of harms way. Gemma will be under house arrest for six months. For now that is one less thing for Jax to worry about.

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Jax has just walked into his home in Charming. Picking up his cell phone he notices 20 calls from Clay. Looks like he will have church at 9 this morning. Jax is not going to try to retrieve the other messages left on his phone. Jax takes a shower and changes his clothes for the day ahead of him. His duffle bag from Belfast is still on his bed. He knows the prospects will be cleaning his home and one of them will live here while he is in prison. But they don't need to be bothered unpacking his shit. Jax unpacks his bag and finds a packet of letters tied in a ribbon. Attached is a note:

 _Dear Jackson,_

 _The truth about your father is in these letters._

 _You should know John like I did._

 _Maureen_

What the hell! Why would she give him JT letters that were written for her? He doesn't have time to read them now. But Jax feels like these letters need to remain hidden until he has time to read them all. He decides to find the last written letter dated on the envelopes. He opens his father's final letter to Maureen. The last few sentences of this letter shake Jax's world apart:

 **MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED HERE MO. WHEN THESE LETTERS STOP YOU CAN BE SURE THAT MY DEATH COMES AT THE HANDS OF MY WIFE AND MY BEST FRIEND. I ONLY HOPE THAT MY JACKSON FINDS A DIFFERENT PATH. HE ALREADY REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MYSELF.**

Jax places the letter back into the envelope. He ties them all back together in the ribbon. He takes them and places them into a paper bag into his backpack. As he is leaving the house he sees Maureen's note on the floor and quickly grabs it to put in his bag with the other letters. He has no time to think or process what he just read. He needs to give these letters to Piney to keep them safe.

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Jax rides to TM and he is relieved to find Piney sitting at the bar. Jax quickly motions to Piney to follow him into his dorm room. Jax explains everything about the letters to Piney. Piney takes the letters and promises Jax they will be hidden until he is released from jail.

Clay promptly starts the meeting at 9 am. No one is asking Jax where he has been; they are all too focused on getting the job done for today.

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Jax's head is pounding and his heart is beating rapidly; the pressure of this day is almost too much to bare. They have finally finished the tasks successfully. Jimmy O and Stahl are dead and the SONS will be doing short time in the C.D.C. In fourteen months they will be released. All Jax can think about is that Clay and his own mother killed his father. He knows there is a lot more to this story but he has to have patience until he is released. The best distraction is to think about how much he loves Tara and their children. He realizes he never asked Tara about when the baby is due. He has been so busy with so much shit. He has to think of his family first from now on. Sitting in his jail cell, Jax begins to write to Tara. He writes three long pages asking about their unborn child; wondering how she feels; how Abel is doing; how much he loves her and misses his family. Jax addresses the letter to Margaret Murphy to be mailed in the morning.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Tara is waking up from a long stressful night. She didn't want Jax to leave. It felt so good to finally declare their love openly and honestly including the good and the bad. They both know their love has been tested, shaken, and denied. Together they are stronger. Tara wonders how many more obstacles will threaten their love. For now she knows they are separated, but they are united in love. Tara starts to write her first daily letter to Jax in jail. Tara hears someone knocking at the door. As she opens the door, she is delighted to see Nan. Nan hands Tara a large brown envelope with Ally Lowen's return address listed on the left hand corner. Before Tara can ask a question Nan explains the envelope was delivered when she knocked on the door. Tara lets Nan into the house as Abel lets his cries be known that he needs his momma. Tara begins to explain that Abel is her adopted son. Nan lets Tara know explanations are not necessary. Nan suggests she would love to care for the baby so Tara can examine the contents of her delivered envelope. Tara is thrilled to have Nan there; it feels like Nan understands Tara instinctively. Tara does remember being told that Nan and Jeb are two of the best people and workers in town. Tara reads and signs the adoption papers and places them into the enclosed envelope to be mailed. Tara asks Nan if she would mind watching Abel for a few minutes while she goes to the post office. Nan readily agrees. Nan also suggests she would love to provide day care for Abel. Tara is so relieved and gives Nan a big thank you hug. Tara tells Nan that would be great and they will work out the details when she returns. When Tara leaves the house, Jeb is arriving in his truck. Tara greets Jeb warmly and explains she has to run a quick errand. Jeb sees the envelope and tells Tara he can mail it for her. Tara is hesitant, but Jeb assures her he has his own business at the post office that needs to be done. Tara is beginning to be a little puzzled by Nan and Jeb's willingness to help her out. She figures she may be over-reacting; pregnancy hormones are a challenge. But she will still be cautious as Jax has taught her to be.

One week later Tara receives the official documentation; Abel is now her adopted son...Abel Knowles-Teller. Tara also receives a huge manilla envelope from Margaret. Tara hopes this is something special. After putting Abel to sleep, Tara crawls into bed and opens the large envelope from Margaret. Seven letters from Jax fall onto her lap as she empties the envelope. Each one is a love letter:

 ** _Hey Babe,_**

 ** _I guess you know how I am able to write to you now. Margaret has been very supportive of my efforts to keep you hidden and safe. I am sure you are surprised with all of the help and attention you have gotten from Nan and Jeb. Trust them Tara. They will take good care of you , Abel, and baby #2. Which reminds me how is our baby? I want to see pictures of you big and fat. I have been so busy, I don't even know when my son is due to be born. I know it is a boy; I have a feeling. How is our little man? Lowen told me the adoption is final. You have always been Abel's mother. I know Abel would not have made it, if not for you. Tara, I miss you so much; I think of you all the time. I know I would not survive this hell hole without your love. When I told you I was a tortured soul...I thought I had lost your love forever. I know I can't live this life without your love. I tried it once over eleven years ago and I barely survived the shit stew I made with my life. I am going to give you a beautiful life, Tara. Always remember that you are a part of me. I hope the prison officials enjoy reading my love letters to you. They always read our letters...including the letters you send to me. I am sending you all of my love...please share it with Abel and my #2 baby to come. I promise to write to you daily._**

 ** _I love you more every day,_**

 ** _Jax_**

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Three weeks later Jackson Nathaniel Teller is shivved to death waiting in line to make a phone call. His body is cremated, per his request when he entered the prison. His remains are sent to Gemma Morrow.

* * *

AN: This story is now a total A/U. TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**AN** : _Thank you all for reading my story and writing your reviews. Your opinions make writing this story a pleasure. This is for my readers._

 _Disclaimer: All of these characters and ideas belong to others. Nan and Jeb are my only original characters_.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 **Love Never Dies**

 ** _It is now eighteen months later. Tara still lives in Merced. Piney shared JT's letters with the SONS after they returned from prison. Gemma and Clay have mysteriously disappeared from Charming. The death of Jax Teller is a heavy burden they all share silently. Abel is three and a half years old. Thomas is eighteen months old._**

Tara has just finished working with her last patient for the day. Two of the nurses are talking excitedly about this new book everyone is reading. Tara is rather curious and asks them what is the big deal about this book. One of the nurses looks at Tara as if she must be from another planet. Tara knows she hasn't been very interested in anything other than her boys since Jax died. The same nurse tells Tara about this great book with the most elaborate and exciting love story. Apparently, the love story is filled with sexual scenes that are so hot; they make women blush with pleasure. Tara thinks that is a code for orgasms. Tara learns that the title of the book is: THE HIGHWAY OF LOVE AND LIFE. The author is someone who lives in England. Tara decides to check it out. She buys a digital copy of the book for her iPad. The author is Zachary Tailer who is from Newcastle, England. She figures this book may be a good way to fall asleep.

As she is driving home, the hole in heart continues to ache. Jax is still a part of her; he is rooted in her soul. Thinking about Jax is just a part of her daily life. She doesn't want anyone else. Margaret keeps trying to push eligible men at her, but that isn't of interest to her. The idea of being with another man is unfathomable; her boys are more than enough to keep her happy. She has her own happy family. Tara has pictures of Jax all over her home. She wants Abel and Thomas to know who their father was. Tara started recording all of the history and stories about their dad, starting in kindergarten when Jax looked like a pretty boy with blond curly hair. She remembers when he kissed her in first grade and then ran away from her like she was some kind of creature from outer space. Tara remembers every detail of their life together. She is amazed that her memories of Jax seem to be getting stronger. It's like every day she remembers more of their life together.

Tara has just arrived home and her boys are playing with their new dog. Jeb had bought it for them. The dog is a Scottish terrier. He is the cutest dog with black and white curly fur. Abel decides he and Tommy will name him when Tommy can talk more clearly. For now, Abel thinks they will just call him doggy.

Abel is growing and developing so quickly. He speaks in full sentences and he knows all his letters, numbers, colors, and shapes. He knows his directions too; up, down, over, under, in, out, left and right. Tara is continuously surprised by Abel's ability to learn and remember. Her biggest shock happened when he read the time on a clock, a date on the calendar, and north on a compass. Nan and Jeb must be amazing teachers. Abel's favorite thing to do is drawing and coloring. The problem was he was coloring and drawing on every surface in the house; that was a lesson he learned quickly, not to do. Now Abel has his artistic work on paper lining the walls in every room of the house. Tara's boys are the joy of her life. She will always be thankful to Jax for giving them to her. Tonight at dinner Abel seems to be unusually excited. He can't stop talking about Zach daddy. Tara keeps trying to get him to say Jax is his daddy. But he can only say Zach daddy and he is getting very impatient because his mommy just doesn't get it. It seems like every time Jeb takes the boys for a ride Abel comes back talking about his fun day with Zach daddy.

Tara is finally ready for bed. The boys are asleep looking like little angels; little angels who are the spitting image of Jax.

Picking up the her iPad, Tara begins to read, The Highway to Love and Life. The story begins with a boy and a girl in kindergarten. The boy's name is Jerry and the girl's name is Terry. Tara starts to laugh thinking this author is making a joke out of rhyming lovers names. As she continues to read, this story is like a history of her life. How is this possible? She decides to do a search on the author. "Zachary Tailer lives in England. This is his first written novel. He has a family of two boys and the love of his life is his best friend." Tara thinks that description sounds like he is probably gay. She finds a black and white picture of him with a top hat and sunglasses. He has a beard with a curly mustache. Tara thinks he looks like the biggest dork she has ever seen. She actually thought the author could be Jax; here she is losing her mind and she can't even blame it on pregnancy hormones.

The next morning, Tara realizes it has been exactly two years since she lost Jax. Today is Saturday and Tara decides to devote the day to talking to her boys about their dad. After all, it is the anniversary of his death and he deserves to be remembered in a special way today. Tara hears a familiar motorcycle; Opie always shows up at her home once a year to remember Jax. This time he has a very different message to share. The boys greet Opie kindly, they are a bit intimidated by his size, but they love his long beard. After the boys are done playing with Uncle Opie, Opie hands Tara a stack of letters tied with a ribbon. Sitting at the dining room table together, Opie explains the significance of these letters to Tara. The biggest shock of all is these letters prove that Clay and Gemma were responsible for JT's death. Tara is stunned. There are so many questions running through her mind, she has no idea of where to begin. Opie can apparently read her mind because he fills in all the blanks for her including Clay and Gemma Morrow will never be seen again. Tara starts to cry...if only Jax could have known all of this before he died. Opie wraps Tara in his arms for a big brotherly hug to comfort her. Opie has to leave to get back to Charming. He reminds her to call him whenever she needs him or just call if she needs to talk. Tara smiles at Opie, knowing he will always be a cherished friend to her and the boys.

Opie left before dinner. Abel declares he is hungry. Magically, Nan and Jeb show up at Tara's doorstep with a big pizza for dinner. Jeb takes Tara's arm and guides her outside away from the house. Jeb tells Tara he has to take her to see something he made for the boys. Apparently, he wants her approval before he reveals it to Thomas and Abel. Tara goes back into the house to tell Nan and her babies she will be back soon. Abel runs to her, giving her a big hug and kiss. Abel seems to know something she doesn't know. Tara feels very weird. Tara gets into Jeb truck and they ride to a huge ranch outside of Merced. Jeb stops his truck in front of the most perfect log cabin she has ever seen. Tara gets out of the truck and the front door of the cabin opens revealing a tall blond man in a lumber jack blue and white shirt looking like ...Tara faints and falls almost to the ground but she is caught by the man from the cabin. He carries Tara into his cabin and holds her on his lap. Jeb brings Tara a shot of Jameson to help her wake up. The man nods at Jeb, "Thanks Jeb, I got this." Slowly, Tara begins to open her eyes and stares at a dead man; at least a dead man she thought was dead. "Jax?" The man gives a very familiar smirk, "No, Tara, my name is Zachary Abbott Timmons Teller, my pen name is Zachary Tailer."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** _I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing my story. Your encouragement has brought this story to a final conclusion._

 _ **Dedication:** elbeewoods, for her art work and __enduring support...the best teacher I have ever had._

 _Petersgirl, for her insight, to always follow your heart and trust what feels good to you._

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

 **A new life**

Tara is in a state of shock. This man who loved her has been dead for two whole years and now he suddenly reappears. She has no idea of how to react. Is she grateful? Is she angry? Is she expected to just open her arms like nothing has happened? Of course, she won't tell him he never left her heart; he owns her love, dead or alive.

* * *

"Tara, I have so much to tell you. But first you have to understand that I had to wait for two years before I could walk back into your life. It was a part of the deal that I had to make to be free of Jax Teller. This past two years I have been watching you from afar. It has been brutal. I wanted to reach out to you so many times, but I had to prove myself worthy. I had to keep my promise and show my loyalty to the people who rescued me."

* * *

"Right now, babe, I just need to hold you, and kiss you, and make love to you. I promise to tell you everything." Tara has no choice; her need for him overwhelms her.

Their kisses are gentle at first, slowly tasting each other's lips. Soon their tongues dance and twist, tasting and exploring each other's mouth. Their kisses become desperate and heated as he lifts Tara up and carries her to his bedroom. They are desperate to tear off their clothing, laughing together, knowing their passion is exploding between them. They kiss every surface of each other's body and end up having oral sex first until he stops her from making him climax so he can feast on Tara's puppies that make her climax quickly. He opens her legs and enters the sweet heat of her body. Their connection is so much stronger than it has ever been. They are in sync with each other, climbing higher and higher. As their rhythm intensifies, they move faster and faster, sweat pouring off of them both as they explode together in the most amazing feeling of ecstasy they have ever known. "Oh my God, Jax! Wow" Breathlessly, Zach whispers,"Wow, wow is putting it mildly. Tara, babe, I love you so much...But we are no longer Jax and Tara...Zach and Tara is who we are now." "Okay, ZACH, it is all so new, and yet the same, all at once." "I known babe, I know how hard this is; at least we can now support and depend on each other."

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Jax tells Tara that he was shivved in prison. The guards rushed him to the prison infirmary. There was chaos everywhere, too many things happening all at once. The prison warden had just hired new staff at the infirmary, making things more disorganized. The staff put him into an ambulance and he woke up three days later staring at Margaret Murphy in Stockton Hospital. "I had no memory of what had happened. I had so much pain in my chest I could barely breathe. Margaret told me the prison infirmary mixed up the patient records. Somehow my identification was placed on another victim who was severely wounded."

"He died while I was being transported to Stockton Hospital. When I arrived in the emergency room I was almost dead, forcing the hospital staff to care for me stat. They didn't even bother to check on my identity. Margaret told me the ER at the time was crazy. Margaret had a meeting at that hospital on the same day. As she was leaving, she saw them rushing me into surgery. Margaret wanted to know what was going on with me. She quickly came to realize the staff had no identity for me. They just knew I was stabbed and needed emergency surgery. Margaret knew she had to make some quick decisions. She told the hospital staff she knew my parents and called Jeb and Nan Teller."

Tara had to interrupt, "Jeb and Nan Teller? I never knew their last name." Zach smirks,"Yeah, they are distant cousins of my dad's. I met them after Tommy died. We kept them a secret because they hated SAMCRO. They had just moved to Merced. Gemma never knew them either. After dad died, I went to Merced and I spent an amazing day with them. They had recently lost their son, Timothy. Tim was in the elite unit of the Army that did top secret special operation missions. When he died, he was given top honors for doing service over and above the call of duty. We bonded with each other on that day with a promise that if I ever needed them away from Charming, they would gladly be there for me."

Tara looks at Zach in wonder. "So that is why they have been my magical support. They have treated me like a daughter. Did you know they were with me when Thomas was born?" Zach starts to chuckle, "I know everything, babe. I even have the video of Thomas being born." Tara is overwhelmed,"How is that even possible, baby? I feel like I am missing something."

Zach continues to explain that Margaret and the Tellers decide to provide the hospital with temporary identity records proving who he was. Jeb and Nan said,"I was their son and showed Tim's birth certificate. I became Tim Teller while I was a patient. Margaret handled the other paper work."

* * *

"When I woke up in the hospital, Margaret was at my bedside with Nan and Jeb. The three of them explained everything to me. The most shocking part, Jax Teller was shivved to death and cremated. His remains were sent to Gemma. Tara, the enormity of that information just blew me away. The first words blurted from my mouth, who am I now?" Margaret said, "You have several choices. The first choice is to leave SAMCRO and become a new person free of the outlaw life you have lived. The second choice is to go back to SAMCRO and jail." "Suddenly, I realized this was my second chance for a better life. I could finally come back to you and our boys; clean of all the shit I had done. But it wasn't going to be easy because there were conditions for my new life. Margaret wanted to create an adjustment period to be assured that this new life would work. I think she doubted my commitment to change. Together we all agreed. I would stay away from you for two years. I thought that was a bit harsh. Margaret wanted to give you a chance to find another man that would be better for you. She believed that, in time, because you believed I was dead, you could move on. I was so scared, Tara, thinking she could be right. But, I knew Margaret was only thinking about what was best for you." Tara replies quickly, "That explains why Margaret was constantly trying to fix me up with every Tom, Dick, and Henry she knew." Zach continues,"I also felt that the time would test our love like it had never been tested before. Being dead did allow you to open your heart to another man. I just felt like it wouldn't happen, or perhaps I was hoping and praying it wouldn't happen." Tara stares into Zach's eyes,"It could never happen. I have two wonderful children who remind me daily how much I loved and will always love their father." Zach embraces Tara as they both shed tears together.

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The past two years Zach has been working on adjusting to his new identity. Jeb has contacts that could alter and create authentic identity papers. A birth certificate was written with Nan and Jeb Teller listed as his parent. A lot of thought went into creating his name for the official birth certificate. Jax had always liked the name Zachary and he felt that Jax and Zach would be an easy transition. Abbott was chosen to represent Abel. Timmons was for Timothy, the son Nan and Jeb had lost. Zachary Abbott Timmons Teller was now born, certified by a written birth certificate. A drivers license and passport were also created.

* * *

Jeb and Nan own a large ranch outside of Merced. A large beautiful home was located on their land. There was plenty of room for the new Zach Teller to live with his parents. But Zach wanted his own place. Jeb and Zach decided to build a log cabin on the ranch. Zach did most of the work. Jeb gave Zach the money he earned from Tara. Zach promised he would be able to pay him back eventually. After the log cabin was built, Zach made it a home. Nan helped him with the furnishings. Margaret gave him a lap top computer and printer as a housewarming gift. Jeb even installed a Wifi system for the property.

After about six months, Tara was due to give birth. It was killing him to stay away from his family. Nan and Jeb did everything they could to keep Zach informed about every detail concerning his family. Jeb even started to bring Abel to visit Zach after he turned one years old. Abel learned to keep his visits a secret so one day they would be able to surprise his mommy. Zach was with Abel after Tommy was born. Eventually, Tommy came to visit him too. Zach had added two bedrooms for his boys. The beauty of a log cabin was how it could easily be expanded to make more rooms. Zach had taken so many pictures of the boys and they were mounted in frames all over his home. One day, Abel came with a big bag of pictures. They were all pictures of Tara alone and with her boys including a dvd of Thomas being born. Zach knew Jeb did that for him.

* * *

After the first year, Zach was becoming restless. He didn't like keeping himself hidden. He missed Tara so much. He had to find a way to express what he was feeling. He started to write about their love story. He became obsessed writing day and night. After about a week Nan came knocking on his door with food. Zach showed her what he was doing. Nan was amazed that Zach had written over one thousand pages about his love and life with Tara. Nan told Zach she had a good friend who was a literary agent and it might be fun to send his pages to her. Zach was hesitant at first and then he figured it didn't really matter. Within one month's time, Zach was given a literary contract. The agent had a book company who wanted to publish his story. Zach made it very clear that he needed to protect his identity. The agent was very helpful. They created a pen name and a fake biography and dressed him up for a picture of the author. Zach thought the whole thing was rather silly and no one would be interested in the ramblings of a love sick idiot like himself. He gave his ramblings a title; it was required by his contract. He called the book THE HIGHWAY OF LOVE AND LIFE. His agent loved it. His chosen pen name was Zachary Tailer and he was from England. He had to dedicate his book: To the only woman I have ever loved. To my children A and T. After the book was published the literary agent came to his door with a check for twenty-five thousand dollars. His book was selling like hot cakes. The agent told him they wanted to offer him an advance payment for more books. Zach declined, suggesting he may be interested in the near future.

* * *

Zach's two year absence from Tara was almost over, Abel and Zach daddy were using a calendar to let Abel know they would surprise mommy soon. Zach daddy taught Abel how to read a clock and use a compass. Abel knew more directions using North-South-East-West than many adults. Zach knew his son, Abel, at three and a half years old, was exceptional for his age. The day had finally arrived to surprise mommy. Abel was so excited. He promised Zach daddy he would keep their secret. When mommy said she was going for a ride with Jeb, Abel almost told mommy the secret, but he didn't want to spoil the surprise, or break his promise to Zach daddy.

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Tara sat looking puzzled. "Babe are you okay? You look a little strange." "Strange, really Zach, strange is putting it mildly. I feel like I have just seen an amazing adventure movie. The difference is this is real and not pretend." "I know babe. It is a rather unbelievable set of facts that did happen." "Zach, what happens now?" "Tara, I want us to be a family. I want to marry you. I want to give you the beautiful life I always promised you." "Zach, where will we live, and what will you do?" "Babe, I have over one million dollars in the bank from royalties on my book. Apparently sex and love sells well. I will continue to write and you will continue to work at the clinic . The only change I see happening is us living together as a family." Tara starts to giggle. "Really, is it that simple Zach?" "Yeah, babe, as long as you remember to call me Zach, we will be fine." "I love you Zachary Abbott Timmons Teller." "That's good, babe, because Tara Grace Knowles is the love of my life." The deal is sealed with an embrace of love and commitment to each other.

* * *

Thanking you for reading. I hope you enjoyed my story.


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